Politics are never good in the tipping industry

Two Saturdays ago, I had a very conservative group of 4 men in my cab. They were all drunk, and they were all between the ages of 30 and 50.  They were all assholes. I didn’t want to talk about politics, they brought it up. They didn’t bring it up to argue about them, they brought it up to tell me how dumb I was. Then the guy directly behind my seat starts making comments under his breath about me, insulting me. The guy in the front seat makes sexual innuendos. I threaten with the police, things calm down a little, we get to their destination. The guy that was making bad comments under his breath the whole way pays me, I hand him his $4 change. “HOW MUCH SHOULD WE *TIP* HER?” he yells to his buddies that have already gotten out.

“I don’t want your money, get the fuck out of my cab,” I said. I think I insulted him, because he wouldn’t get out of my cab until I repeatedly said “Get the FUCK out of my CAB” several times, pointing at his face. He said things like “Don’t be a cunt” and “Don’t point,” I assume to try to regain “control” of the situation. I think denying him the ability to deny me money really pissed him off. One of his friends said he was calling 911. I laughed, told him go right ahead. What was he going to do? Tell them I wouldn’t accept a tip and wouldn’t let them just sit in my cab as long as they wanted yelling at me? Good luck with that, sir.


Last Friday I had three women in my cab. When I pulled up to the Cardinal to pick them up, two were screaming at each other. “I can’t believe you called a cab! This was your idea to go out dancing! You’re a terrible friend!”

“I called a cab because I wanted to go home, you can stay out all you want!”

Third girl comes up to me “Should I just leave?” I ask.
“Who are you waiting for?”

All three girls get in.

The girl in the middle-back seat has her hands on each of the front seats, separating the other two and creating a wall. The whole way these girls are yelling profanities at each other, calling each other “Smelly Bitch” and whatnot. I giggle, and the girl in the middle is like: “See, she’s laughing at you guys! Knock it off!”

“She’s not laughing at ME, she’s laughing at HER!”
“No, I’m laughing at you both!” I say. I was laughing because they had volleyed “You can stick it!” “No you stick it!”  “No YOU stick it!” back and forth a few times. They truly sounded like 12-year-olds.

When we got on the freeway they start slapping each other. They didn’t stop until I threatened at the top of my lungs to dump them in the middle of the Highway. They were my age.

At the end of the ride there was a moment of immaculate cooperation. For a full minute the yelling stopped as they politely figured out who would pay. I was stunned!

About yellowandblackmail

I pick people up and take them where they want to go.
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