yellowandblackmail

My last shift (Sunday), I had two rides in a row with blind ladies. Today it was two rides in a row with nearly deaf ladies. Tomorrow… Mute ladies? OR MONKEYS!? IS IT MONKEYS!??  (Get it?  See no evil, hear no evil…)

Also, I saw one of those family piece-it-together sticker chains on someone’s SUV. Someone had deliberately scratched off the dad, leaving only his foot, mom holding a baby, and a small girl next to her. I couldn’t help but laugh at this, but the two businessmen in my cab did not join me in the laughter.

So the cab I picked up tonight was left less-than-clean, but not a pig sty. There was a paper left on the passenger’s seat and a paper left between the driver’s seat and the middle compartment. I hate that someone ALWAYS leaves their paper there, but it’s not a big deal to stop by the recycle bin and throw it out while cursing their inconsiderateness.

Today it paid off! There was a dollar mixed up in the newspaper! I was so excited that I yelled “WAHOO I FOUND A DOLLAR!!!” in the parking lot while waving it around. This caught the attention of three of our drivers, two of which were engrossed in a curmudgeonly debate about something. They had been talking for at least 20 minutes. The older man came over and wanted to talk about it.

“Where did you find it?”
“Mixed in with the newspaper I had to clean up,” I said, realising he was the previous driver for the cab.
“Oh, I guess you can have it,” he says.
“Oh, I’m keeping it. I earned it with how I had to clean up the newspapers.”
“I didn’t leave many, did I?”
“One on the passenger seat and one between the seat and the compartment.”
“Oh, you can have that dollar.”

It bothers me he thinks it was still his property and he was using his benevolence to let me have something he didn’t want anyway. I should have said so. I did make it clear that he put me out by making me clean up his mess, though. Small victories.

I got a weird-awesome compliment at work from one of my passengers. I’ll type it out here:

“Sunday one of your cabs gave me a ride home from St. Mary’s hospital after a particularly bad case of food poisoning. To make things worse, the docs at St. Mary’s had not filled out the cab voucher properly. The cab driver politely told me about the error in the paperwork and invited me to wait in the cab while she went inside and straightened things out. Numerous times on the trip, she asked if I was OK. She dropped me off at my home and wished me a speedy recovery.

My day had been a shit sandwich but her sympathy and respect brightened it significantly. If anyone ever asks which cab company to choose, guess who I’m recommending?

P.S. Fuck Walker!”

This quote is followed by this note from H.R.: “A copy of this letter will be placed in your permanent file.”

Booyah! I get a cursing compliment in my permanent file!

I’m seriously daydreaming about writing a book about taxi driving in Madison. It’s been done, and it’s been done for different cities, but it’d be something for me to do. I’m even lightly organizing chapters in my head.

“10 most often asked questions (or demands)”
“People are fucked up and here are some stories to back that statement”
“Drunk college kids… or zombies?”
“Vocabulary and history of the industry”
“Cabbie sub-culture”
“Why Madison is called ‘Mad-Town'”
“Things Cab drivers do to entertain themselves”
“Random Cab Stories… yes, some are sexy”
“Football”

Sorry it’s been awhile since I’ve written! Our summer has been much busier than summers past, and generally the weirdos and strange coincidences happen when it’s slow.

Well, yesterday was Labor Day, and it was slow!

I’ll start with Sunday night, though. Sunday night my roommate, myself, and a friend of ours finished the last of season one of Dexter. We watched about 6 episodes in a row. I won’t give you any spoilers but there’s a lot of amputation going on in this season. There was also a scene where a hooker is relaying some stories of freaky sex with her stump. It was freaky.

So yesterday I get a call on the south side and it’s some dude going to a gay bar. I’m not going to name names or places, because this dude was totally cool and nice and I don’t want to breach any kind of confidentiality or anything, but he had no arms. One was amputated just above the elbow, and the other right below it or at it… the second one had these two finger-type things that he used to carry stuff with and open doors. As he got into my cab, the song that started playing on the radio was “I’m bringing sexy back” by Justin Timberlake. After the night before, I felt like this coincidence was off the charts and I was pretty shocked by it.

Don’t get me wrong, the passenger was totally cool and I wasn’t freaked out by how he had no arms. I was impressed with how he was so self sufficient actually. I was just blown away by how he got in my cab the night after I finished the first season of Dexter. I never get amputees in my taxi! And it happens right after I watch the show?! Crazy!

Also, I had a man in my cab going from a bar to Taco Bell, then to his house. He was telling me how he drives for one of our competitor companies but he ONLY uses my company for personal rides. When I got him home he realized he left his house key in his taxi cab (he had been driving earlier in the day). He hired me to take him round trip from his house to my competitor’s lot. It seemed pretty ballsy of me at the time, and had anyone at his company been paying attention, I think everyone would have gotten a laugh at seeing my yellow cab in their sea of not-yellow cabs. I wish I would have taken a picture, actually.

So yesterday was super slow, I made no money, but the tips were higher than usual and I’m rich in laughter. At least I got a small taste of the summer doldrums without the financial kick in the ass of a long slow season!