Knives are no joke.

I’ve had a really long, LONG week. I just worked 5 days in a row, about 55 hours (the last 3 shifts of mine were all 12 hours long, with the obligatory hour break).  To top it off, I got my period today and started my day feeling emotionally delicate.  It picked up business-wise and confidence-wise around 8pm-ish, but the end of the night was a total disaster.

The dispatcher-lady finally checked in 3 o’clock ends at 2:40am.  It probably could have happened at 2, but she’s hyper-conservative with wanting cabs on the road for ANY possibility.  Anyway, I thought “Hell, I’ll drive down the 600-800 blocks of University to see if anyone is outside needing a cab.”  Those two blocks have a high concentration of popular bars.

I saw someone waving outside Wando’s, so I pulled over… mid-pull-over I saw someone on the sidewalk rolling around.  A REALLY big dude, not muscle, just tall and heavy.  I kept the doors locked and asked where they were headed and made sure they were sober enough to ride in the cab before I let them in.  There was 3 of them.

A couple blocks into the $10-ish ride the dude in the front seat (not the big guy, he’s in the passenger-side back seat) starts touching all of my personal things and leaning on the armrest between us, getting close enough that I have to move more into my own seat to avoid touching him.  I get pissed off easily because of the week drain on my patience and I tell him to knock it the fuck off. He’s still jovial though and says he’s sorry but really wants to use the arm rest. I tell him no, it’s mine, fuck off (basically).

The big dude in the back is all “yea he’s really annoying! I bet you want to stab him or something! HAH!” And I’m all “yea.” THEN HE FUCKING TAKES OUT A KNIFE AND PUTS IT IN MY FACE. Well, not really in my face, but a foot away from my face between me and his brother (by this point it’s been said they’re brothers). I immediately pull over and yell at him, chastise him, tell him there is NO REASON IN THE WORLD to pull a knife out in a cab, and all he can say is that I wanted him to pull it out, I said I wanted a knife to stab his brother. Don’t get smart-ass on me asshole.

I shouldn’t have even continued the ride. I should have just kicked them the fuck out on Park at Johnson, but I get really silent, let his brothers wrangle him, and let my silence finally seep some guilt and sobriety into his demeanor. I demand $10 before moving again, get it, then take them home in silence. When we get there, the guy in the front hands me another $5 (the meter was at $9.20), and then he fucking puts his hand around my neck and says “you look tense,” and when I recoil he says “I was only trying to see if your shoulders felt tense.”


I headed back to the office, and about 3 minutes after the hailstorm of emotions hit, my stomach rolled over and I felt like I had an instant ulcer. I got really angry, really anxious, and hyper-stressed. I did my waybill, told the dispatcher everything, she gave me a piece of nice chocolate, I came straight home, cracked my bottle of Kraken and had a couple shots in one gulp, and now am having a beer.

I wasn’t in any “real” danger for this ride, but had that guy’s crazy gone in another direction I might have been. Tomorrow I’m drinking hard, and maybe I’ll go dancing at the gay bar. I feel like beating the shit out of something so I’ll also be going to the gym. I feel like life just grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me a big shake to wake me up.

About yellowandblackmail

I pick people up and take them where they want to go.
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