Yesterday, at the end of the workday (it ended at 3am this morning) I was so fed up that I exclaimed to a friend who was also checking in “Apparently I was wearing my Cunt Jeans today!”

The day started with a routine pelvic exam with my doctor and went downhill from there.

People were generally under-appreciative of their safe rides in the 1 degree temperature (seriously, the gauge in the car fluctuated between 1 and -1 all evening). General douchebaggery set me off all evening. I had a party of 7 (I had the only 7-loading minivan in our fleet on accident last night) to the Majestic for a Savoy concert (I don’t know them, but I’m guessing they’re douches, too), their meter came to $6.50. “Okay, everyone give me a Dollar!” Says the dude in the front. One by one, very slowly, they gave me each $1. THANKS ALOT GUYS! I even yelled out the door as they didn’t put the moving seats back into place “I HOPE YOU HAVE FIFTY CENTS WORTH OF FUN TONIGHT!”

My last passenger was a treat. He called from The Paradise, but I picked him up a block away because HE WOULDN’T STAY PUT. I HATE THAT SO MUCH. He said it was because it’s cold and he wanted to keep moving, but he had called us only 5 minutes prior and he didn’t look like he was going to return to the Paradise during his getting-warm exercise.

He gets in, I turn the heat up for him, he says his battery died in his car, otherwise he wouldn’t be taking an expensive taxi. “Do you have triple-A?” I ask.
“Not EVERYONE can afford that, lady!”
“It only costs like $15 a year…”
“That’s like taking food out of some people’s kids’ mouths!”
“$15 a year?”
“You know what, yea! You wouldn’t know about that because you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth!”
“Which is why I’m driving A CAB?!”

He went on to argue that he was quoted $10 for the ride, but I quoted him $12 at the beginning. The ride turned out to be $13.10 and in the middle of the ride he was like “Here, let me prove I’m going to pay you, here’s a twenty!” I told him I’d give him change at the end (because we were in motion and it’s stupid to handle money while trying to drive).

I ended up not having two $1 bills so I just got fed up and gave him two $5s and told him to get out.
“What?”
“Just get the fuck out.”
“I gave you a twenty!”
“And I gave you ten back. I gave you three dollars off your fucking fare.”
“Let me out!”
“The door is not locked.”
“You’re a fucking cunt.”
“Get the fuck out.”
“Cunt.” He said, fumbling with the door. He left it open, so I rounded the block, got out, and closed it.

I’m unsure if he was trying to rile me up enough for me to just give him back the $20, or if he just can’t do math. I was seeing red all the way back to the office and knew I would not be taking anyone else in my taxi that evening. Luckily, this call ended on the East side near our office, 10 minutes before my end-time.