Alright, the “crazy” short taxi story from last night: A mom took her newly-21-year-old daughter out drinking and the daughter over-indulged. Mom wanted to make a pit stop for cigarettes and soda on the way home from the bar. It was about a 5 block trip but the daughter was in NO SHAPE to walk on her own and mom was too tipsy to help. While mom was in the gas station, I became acquainted with exactly how drunk and self-loathing the daughter was. I was not having fun, I was being a fucking baby sitter and getting nervous that if she got sick, she was aimed right at my belongings (I keep my things in the gap between the front two seats of mini-vans).

After I got them home and got paid ($10.70), I needed to give change but the daughter was trying to get out on her own. I knew if she tried she’d just land on her face. I kept my hand on her shoulder with the door open, waiting for mom to come around and get her. I had to remind mom to get the fuck out of the car and come around and get her.

I handed the $9 change to her as she helped her daughter stand.  The daughter INSISTED on hugging me as a thank you. I didn’t want it, mainly because there was schmutz on her arm that looked like she’d gotten sick earlier in the evening and wiped her face off with the sleeve of her fleece. I got forcibly hugged anyway, and not tipped.

I got into the car, pretended to do some paperwork as I waited for the ladies to clear off. I don’t like pulling away with people standing around because sometimes they brace themselves with the car (especially if there is ice everywhere). The two ladies are holding each other up for a couple staggers, then their momentum gets quick fast and I hear a BANG on the back of my cab.  In my rearview mirror I see them both still standing, the daughter holding her head. “OW MOOOM!”

They stagger a little more and are bracing themselves 20 feet away on a parked car so I pull around, facing the exit of their apartment’s parking lot. The daughter is now on her knees gathering things that have dropped out of her purse, and clutching her head.

“Do you want me to call an ambulance? Are you okay?” The mom shoos me off and says they’re fine, and very firmly says “No ambulance.”